...

After reading the previous post. I felt better.

Slightly.

I duuno why but typing my emotions out is so much better. I think no one will read this though. My friends whom I care abt doesn't seemed to care abt me too.

Haha.

Yea, all these time there are ppl who smsed and encouraged me. I thank God for you all but.

Maybe I'm just selfish.

I want the whole world to pay attention to me.

I dunno what I want.

There's a hole in my heart.

I correct.

Its a void.

A big mass of nothing-ness.

I'm going crazy.

God help me.

Emo

I guess when Im really down and I feel that when I have no one to talk to. I'll blog. I think no one read it anyway. Twitter is too short and facebook is too open. Well, what can I say?

I cant vlog nowadays. I can vlog like how i vlog last times. I'm so sad nowadays. I just can help it but to feel down and unwanted all the time.

I want to rise up. I want to lead. I want to influence once again. But I know im not there yet. Spiritually or what not. But Im not there yet. I want to be be a COC again. But how?

At some part of me. I really need you. I wanted somebody to love me and in return loves me back. But who really knows what I want?

To justify, yes I still love God. Just tt. Its not agape. He knows. But the thing is. I want someone. A human. to do tt to me as well.

Im a joker who feels lonely. Im high infront of you all. But when we leave for home. You dunno how my eyes turns.

Im sad.

I nv knew tt I can type and tear at the same time.

And Im a guy.

Why am I feeling this way?

God help me.

I need your help.

Argggh Fuck.