Touched

I said emo post. But I really wanna post this.PEISHI SEEN ALL MY VLOGS IN A DAY! I only did tt to other people's channel but its the first time ppl did tt to me. Im really touched. She also told me this on msn.


You have the passion and talent all you need nw is perservance. you may nt get what u want nw cos whatever that is easy to Achieve is nt glorious enough.
20:29
No matter hw many times Audi or interviews it whatever comp may fail u may put u down but
20:59
What's mostimpt is to keep the passion and keep persuing what you want ad love
21:41
For me is dance. No matter hw financial factor or fondation factor may stop me from gng to laselle but I won't give up
22:10
I know what I want in life just like you . U love fliming acting and arts! Go ahead
23:02
Your parents may nt see your potential words may brig you down but jingyan! Trust me! Stand up, work hard! Go all out for what you love and prove those ppl wrong!
23:21
Yo can do it and I always believe in you!
24:13
I know it's nt easy.. Cos soon I will be gng through smth like you. But im gonna do my best, achieve what I want in life. Get all I desire. Prove ppl wrong!
24:29
Brig arts into the world and change ppl life!
25:24
It's nvr easy it will be tough gng but as long as you are willing to accept critisim and feedback, imprve on it! You can do it man!
26:14
Nobody imagined human can be in sky till wright brothers do smth! Nobody knows arts can be so impactful until someone is willing tk go all out
26:58
And I believe you can be that someone! Jiayou jy! I see the potential in you! You can and I know you can do it!
27:30
Just don't give up!! By anything or anyone! Becase you didn't come so far to let all this go!
27:51
If you fail try agn, if fail agn, try harder till u get there






Peishi I love you=) Thank you for all tt you did=)

Zibei

While waiting for the WMM to render my video. I decided to blog again. I feel so zhibei with my video editing skills.

I really wanna make it big in this industry and I feel so helpless with that.

Last night Arthur said after he seen Ivan and my video. He wanted to start filming also. The thing is he looks up to me. And i tell him. I suck at making videos.

I just feel so zibei.

Kevjumba had made his online web series and a original MV

What what have I achieved?

I feel zibei.

And I really wanna make a nice video and many ppl will watch it and spread it ard singapore and even the whole of Asia.

Not just funny, but depth as well.

Hais

Zibei.

I wonder who know how I feel abt making videos.

...

After reading the previous post. I felt better.

Slightly.

I duuno why but typing my emotions out is so much better. I think no one will read this though. My friends whom I care abt doesn't seemed to care abt me too.

Haha.

Yea, all these time there are ppl who smsed and encouraged me. I thank God for you all but.

Maybe I'm just selfish.

I want the whole world to pay attention to me.

I dunno what I want.

There's a hole in my heart.

I correct.

Its a void.

A big mass of nothing-ness.

I'm going crazy.

God help me.

Emo

I guess when Im really down and I feel that when I have no one to talk to. I'll blog. I think no one read it anyway. Twitter is too short and facebook is too open. Well, what can I say?

I cant vlog nowadays. I can vlog like how i vlog last times. I'm so sad nowadays. I just can help it but to feel down and unwanted all the time.

I want to rise up. I want to lead. I want to influence once again. But I know im not there yet. Spiritually or what not. But Im not there yet. I want to be be a COC again. But how?

At some part of me. I really need you. I wanted somebody to love me and in return loves me back. But who really knows what I want?

To justify, yes I still love God. Just tt. Its not agape. He knows. But the thing is. I want someone. A human. to do tt to me as well.

Im a joker who feels lonely. Im high infront of you all. But when we leave for home. You dunno how my eyes turns.

Im sad.

I nv knew tt I can type and tear at the same time.

And Im a guy.

Why am I feeling this way?

God help me.

I need your help.

Argggh Fuck.

Dark side

I guess everyone has their darker side. I think I just found mine. I really hate it when im alone. I dunno why Im like that now. As time passes by. I feel more and more insecure. Girls to me now are just friends already. Can I ever find someone I truly like and likes me back? Or do i have to suffer this alone? My intelligence has finally got the better of me. I used to said this, "I hate stupid women", "I like conversations that has depth with a lady". but I cant find that person. Do I really going to be alone? Guys right now are studying buddies. We are called friends but there are no depths in our friendship. We laugh at the gals, the 4 wonders. Predicting that their friendship will fallout. WHAT ABT US? Dint you realize there's a BIG problem coming between us? Can't you see my shortened patience when there's a discussion with you all? How come when we're in the sub comm. I'm not always with you? I don't want to be a leader and lead you all always. Yes I like to be an influence-er. But you know wad is called a burnout?

And you my best friend. You're slipping away from that original meaning of that word already you know that? Since when you took interest in my life? All i hear from you is how confident you are from courting this gal when her distance to you is like further den the distance from earth from the furthest star. How you wanted to be the vice-chairman of the class when it's SO Inappropriate. Have you ever go and understand how would Amy feel? Why would the class needs THREE reps? WHY? don't tell me you wanted SEAL points because I would never believe it. I know you want to be a leader. You want to be a positive influence to a grp of people. Why dont you influence me 1st? Dude, you know wads the meaning of "walk the walk and don't talk the talk?". All these thing are kept inside me for so long, I need to type it out of I'll go crazy like really.

Is it really my fault that I always look on people's flaws and telling ppl them that? I really want you to change to become better you know? I always reflect on myself too! But how come you all CANNOT accept the hard truths in life sometimes? arent you all old enough to have a basic mental tenecity to handle scoldings? hais. Why can I react differently and positively to katerine's scolding when you all cannot handle little snippets of my crictial comments that is helpful? WHY?

My thought about youtube views

Heys people=) today I wanna tell you all something about an issue from youtube that I realised=)
...........
Yea so before when I continue, This blog are for the more sentimental thoughts that I feel that it is too serious to post on YouTube=)

Yea, so when I started on my YouTube channel yaneldoras. I was really excited when I made my 1st Video=) Hahas I did my edit-ing, posted it on youtube, and went to see the magic..

1day : 3 views (i viewed it 3 times>.< )
2day : 4 views ( cos i when to chk)
2 day: 8 views (......)

I was so sad, I did not know what to do. I thought there's millions of people in youtube that will watch my videos! how come there's only 4 people who watched my vids? Upset and sadded.
I gave up.

Lols by some curious twist of fate, my friend told me this statement : "Be yourself, everyone's taken"

I was overwhelmed by it, this means tt there are 4 unique different persons that watched my vid!
4 different with different background tt watched my vids!
I impacted 4 people.

Hahas tt changed my views about youtube view amounts man.
Even if there are little amountof people who watches my vid (avg 25-30 per vid) I know that I had influenced at least 25 people on this earth, imagine you can meet them in person=)
Yea so this is one of my vids-------> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ox7VuHB_UBg&feature=player_profilepage
Yea click on my channel for more vids=)
loves, JY

VlogCrush

Hey world!!
..................................
Just wanna inform you all that I was invited to vlog for vlogcrush!!
For more information, please go to www.vlogcrush.com =)
lols from now onwards I'll keep my postings short and sweet unless something serious happens to me=) for more of my vlogs you can find me @ www.youtube.com/yaneldoras.